Well the time has come and gone.. The dreaded countdown before he leaves is no more.. Now we begin the countdown of his return.. Deployments.. What could we say about deployments.. They are hard. People do not understand the emotional stress we go through..
Looking my husband in the eyes, as we both are tearing up.. Knowing that is the last time in several months I will be looking into those gorgeous blue eyes, that just touch my soul. He makes me whole. Knowing that half of my heart is getting ripped from me, and I can't fight to keep him. Knowing this is the last kiss... the last hug.. So we keep hugging.. Getting in every. last. kiss. Watching him walk away from me, and knowing I can't run after him, I can't grab him and say "no, stay with me, please don't go" I can't be selfish. I watch him walk away out of sight and my heart just breaks.. Just holding on to the last kiss and the last hug.. Just knowing he is going to be thousands of miles away from me, breaks me heart everyday.. Not a moment goes by that I don't think about him, not a second.
He is my everything, he completes me on so many levels that most people would never understand. I am happy to say I have found this love, this love that most people never get to experience. I have a love that keeps me going everyday, a love that strengthens me and encourages me, that loves me. He push each other toward God, we keep each other accountable. We live everyday with each other like he is about to deploy. We respect and honor one another. We let the little things slide, because there are more things that are important in life. I love my husband more than anyone will know. Not only is he the most handsome man in the world. (Boy do I mean HANDSOME!) He is an AMAZING husband and just so wonderful inside and out. He really shows me every day, day in and day out how much he loves me. I love his knowledge of the word. I love being able to come to him for anything! I just love him. FACT :)
So today marks another day without my love, another day that I am alone, another day I sleep alone, another day I eat alone, another day.. another day.. another day I am without him, my everything.
Don't get me wrong, I am not a wife who can't function with out my husband. I will function, because I don't have a choice, I need to stay busy and keep my mind on other things. I hate when people say, "I don't know how you do it, I sure know I would never be able to" You know.. I don't have a choice to "do it" I do it because I have no other option. I love my man so VERY much, that I would rather wait for a lifetime, just to spend a moment in his arms. Oh how I miss being in his arms.. The safest I feel is his arms wrapped around me.. the warmth of his body, and feeling his heartbeat. :)
I am looking forward to the homecoming where I get to look into his eyes again, and embrace him with hug and kiss! Knowing everything I just went through, these months alone, was all worth it. One second in his arms, makes the journey worth fighting for. He is worth fighting for! :)
Until next time! :) Thanks for letting me ramble!
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