People often times think military families "have it all".. but, we don't. We are always lacking something or someone in our lives.. we are always learning something new about ourselves everyday.. When our spouses come home we have to RE get to know each other because being gone that long a lot changes in peoples lives.. wondering if its ever going to be the same again.. wondering if they are going to pick up where they left off.. All these questions and fears. We have to be strong and constantly force ourselves not to think about it.. and to renew our thought process and try to think about their safety as little as possible.
In the time he is away.. Ive learned to not rely on myself or my husband.. because fact is humans always let you down. Rough patches every month.. I learned to rely on God.. as cheesy as that sounds.. God has been the only one to stick by my side and not disappoint me.. I don't have to deal with a one way friendship.. if we put in to Him.. He gives back to us. We are so underserving but yet He still loves us. I have grown closer to God in the 5 months that my husband has been gone so far! I have been protected by the Lord in all ways! My husband loves me and prays over our household and me everyday He can that the Lord protect me in all ways! The Lord is my strength and whom I take refuge! In Him whom I trust!
I have grown more in love with my husband as the months go on.. as i count down the days.. you learn to not rely on anything physical but the friendship you once had.. The little things like hearing his voice.. getting a letter in the mail.. You learn to miss the things like holding his hand and waking up next to him.. You learn to cherish your spouse even more than you ever had! I love my husband more than when he left! How is that even possible!? I just learn to love Jesus first and all falls into place.. I do miss him and I am waiting for his return in a few months.. but, knowing he loves me gets me through this time.. My husband is a wonderful man!
Not only has my husbands deployment been hard to get through.. but, now at the same time.. my brother is being sent overseas to fight in combat.. This was hard on my family and I.. harder because they switched him MOS and told him he leaves next month.. He has been fighting to get leave to see his family before he goes... We haven't seen him in a year..
The little problems you have in life no longer seem to matter.. You just go back to the beginning; you are family you are blood and I love you! You seal up all fights and disagreements and go back to i love you please be safe! You learn to forgive faster just in case there isn't another chance. You learn to cherish your time more than you had originally.. I don't want anybody to have to go through this in life.. but, in a sense it is so worth it.. you learn to live life differently and learn to live life without regret! God teaches us to be slow to anger and quick in love! This moment in my life i have taken on what I can that God has taught me.. and I have learned to just trust Jesus. I learn to shut my mouth and just love and forgive.. because the little arguments in life are not worth losing a family member over. I since have rekindled a broken friendship! I will be praying for a safe return for my husband and my brother! May God be with you and strengthen you and guide you every step of the way.. These moments in time change my life to be a better individual.
Just another rant from me..
No comments:
Post a Comment