I feel so accomplished..

Even though my husband is currently deployed.. My roommate is a slob.. Whom doesn't pay any rent or utilities.. that  being said.. I baked homemade gluten free bread! I cleaned the ENTIRE kitchen.. Cleaned the Dining room and family room! I cleaned my bedroom, bathroom, and closet! It was a solid 6 hours of cleaning! It helps me destress when I am in a clean house.. It also helps when my roommate is hardly here! How does a roommate who is hardly here make such a mess? who knows.. I'm ready for my husband to come home! He is the perfect roommate! :) Just a small post for today! I'm excited to have toast in the morning with my homemade bread!! :)

It's moments like these that change my life..

I am a proud military wife.. I would not change any of it for the world! My husband is currently deployed serving our country.. I'm in a new place, new state, new area, and new surroundings.. I'm not used to any of it and I've been here for a year and a half..  and I have nothing to show for it.. being a military wife, you live for your husband. When they are home.. you are with them 24/7 besides working hours.. your lives revolve all around them.. and you learn to cherish each and every moment you have with them.. Then they deploy for 7-18 months.. Suddenly you have a culture shock. Everything you have been living for for an entire year or two is gone.. You have your ups and downs.. You begin to do things on your own and learn to fix things you normally wouldn't attempt to fix. You really have a hard turn around in life.. Then you need to go out and start making friends like your "single" again.. I never really pictured when I was a little girl, that I would be married to an amazing man, and yet still be living alone and learning to fend for myself and protect myself. You have to hold the household all together when they are gone.. so when they come home they feel right at home instantly. 

  People often times think military families "have it all".. but, we don't. We are always lacking something or someone in our lives.. we are always learning something new about ourselves everyday.. When our spouses come home we have to RE get to know each other because being gone that long a lot changes in peoples lives.. wondering if its ever going to be the same again.. wondering if they are going to pick up where they left off.. All these questions and fears. We have to be strong and constantly force ourselves not to think about it.. and to renew our thought process and try to think about their safety as little as possible. 

  In the time he is away.. Ive learned to not rely on myself or my husband.. because fact is humans always let you down. Rough patches every month.. I learned to rely on God.. as cheesy as that sounds.. God has been the only one to stick by my side and not disappoint me.. I don't have to deal with a one way friendship.. if we put in to Him.. He gives back to us. We are so underserving but yet He still loves us. I have grown closer to God in the 5 months that my husband has been gone so far! I have been protected by the Lord in all ways! My husband loves me and prays over our household and me everyday He can that the Lord protect me in all ways! The Lord is my strength and whom I take refuge! In Him whom I trust! 

  I have grown more in love with my husband as the months go on.. as i count down the days.. you learn to not rely on anything physical but the friendship you once had.. The little things like hearing his voice.. getting a letter in the mail.. You learn to miss the things like holding his hand and waking up next to him.. You learn to cherish your spouse even more than you ever had! I love my husband more than when he left! How is that even possible!? I just learn to love Jesus first and all falls into place.. I do miss him and I am waiting for his return in a few months.. but, knowing he loves me gets me through this time.. My husband is a wonderful man! 

Not only has my husbands deployment been hard to get through.. but, now at the same time.. my brother is being sent overseas to fight in combat.. This was hard on my family and I.. harder because they switched him MOS and told him he leaves next month.. He has been fighting to get leave to see his family before he goes... We haven't seen him in a year.. 

   The little problems you have in life no longer seem to matter.. You just go back to the beginning; you are family you are blood and I love you! You seal up all fights and disagreements and go back to i love you please be safe! You learn to forgive faster just in case there isn't another chance. You learn to cherish your time more than you had originally.. I don't want anybody to have to go through this in life.. but, in a sense it is so worth it.. you learn to live life differently and learn to live life without regret! God teaches us to be slow to anger and quick in love! This moment in my life i have taken on what I can that God has taught me.. and I have learned to just trust Jesus. I learn to shut my mouth and just love and forgive.. because the little arguments in life are not worth losing a family member over. I since have rekindled a broken friendship! I will be praying for a safe return for my husband and my brother! May God be with you and strengthen you and guide you every step of the way.. These moments in time change my life to be a better individual. 

Just another rant from me.. 

Sometime Life make you think...

I've recently had a friend that i grew up with pass away.. It really broke my heart.. I have shed quite a few tears. I just thank God she is in heaven with Him today! I just realize more and more how important life is.. The little things we take for granite each and every day.. Something as little as saying "I love you" before you walk out of the house.. Means the world.. I am thankful to have know you Britteny! Thank you for listening to gut and tagging along to church with me! I'm so happy I was there when you accepted Christ into your heart! That experience in itself was amazing! You were so happy and relieved that day! I remember you looked at me and said.. "Well that was amazing!!.. so.. Now what??" She said it with so much passion because she had just encountered the one and only true love of this world! I know we grew apart.. but you had an impact on my life.. I will be praying for your family and your precious son Gage! He knows you loved him with all your heart! I learned to humble myself and choose my battles.. choosing my battles is way more important than causing a pointless argument.. I don't want it to be to late and regret anything that was said. Thank you for always smiling and lighting up a room when you walked in it! Even though your walk wasn't as strong with God.. You had this glow about you that drew people in.. They wanted to know whats different about this girl! You had that Jesus spark in you! You were my age.. and your gone.. Things happen so fast.. My heart is so heavy with all the people that have passed in the last 2 years.. God knows the time and the day He calls us home.. I know your happier where you are and your livin it up with Jesus! What an awesome feeling to be sitting at Jesus' feet and just worshiping the One and Only! You were loved Britt.. and you are missed!